Paz and Brown

"Love is an attempt to penetrate another being, but it can only be realized if the surrender is mutual. It is always difficult to give oneself up; few persons anywhere ever succeed in doing so, and even fewer transcend the possessive stage to know what love actually is: a perpetual discovery, an immersion in the waters of reality, and an unending re-creation." (Paz, Octavio. "Mexican Masks" The Labyrinth of Solitude, 42.)

        In "Mexican Masks," Octavio Paz argues that Mexicans of all classes and ages present a mask to the world rather than their true self. Mexico is a hostile environment that obliges the people to close themselves off. Based on their history, this reaction is justifiable. But, rather than embracing and refining solitude in a healthy way, Paz suggests that the effect of solitude is manifest in extreme defensiveness and aggression, bravado in "machismo," and paralyzing shyness that often offends. Distrust, irony, and suspicion replace patience and long-suffering as a result of the people’s solitude.

          “Mexican Masks” reminded me of Brene Brown's presentation on TED Talks. Brown sought to discover the key to human connection.  After 6 years of research, her conclusion was that, "in order for connection to happen, we have to allow ourselves to be seen. Really seen." People who experience love and belonging have the courage to be imperfect by letting go of who they ought to be and allowing themselves to be who they really are. To borrow Paz's analogy, people who experience love and belonging are able to because they have taken off their masks. Although vulnerability is at the core of shame, which causes self-consciousness and defensiveness and thereby prevents connection, vulnerability is also the birthplace of love and belonging. This is because it is when we allow ourselves to be vulnerable we open ourselves up to love. Being authentic, letting ourselves be seen, taking off our masks is how we begin to develop healthy, loving relationships.

         The mutual surrender Paz describes as necessary to realize love is the embracing of vulnerability that Brown discovered. The “Mexican Mask” is the image of what one ought to be that we must let go of in order to allow ourselves to be who we really are. There is no vulnerability in solitude, no giving oneself up, which is why “few persons anywhere...know what love actually is.” Paz and Brown recognize the solution to the “hermeticism” of the Mexican people as surrendering our pride and allowing others to see our true selves. 

(Turn the video on and listen to it while you're getting ready for school in the morning or something. It's 20 minutes, and definitely worth it)